Posts
I had 2 dogs,1 was named face,the other named ass..I gave face to you on your
birthday..
1 Day,face died in an accident...I was so sad..because whenever i looked at my
ass,
it reminded me of your face..If face hadn't died,your face would be as big as my
ass.
I never take risk while drinking
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Qucikly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz i never take a risk
I: Any news on Iyer's daughter's marriage
She: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are
looking out for her
I again come out; there is a small noise of the blackcupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: But still I think Iyer's daughter's age is not that much
She: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged
horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy onepeg
in the sink Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj'sphoto
& keep it in the black cupboard
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you saythat
again, I will cut your tongue...!
She: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
She: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what i did
Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
Iyer is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz i never take a risk .....hic!
Labels:
Clean Humour
When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
I stealthily enter the house
Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
But still no one is aware of it
Becoz I never take a risk
I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
Qucikly enjoy one peg
Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
I peep into the kitchen
Wife is cutting potatoes
No one is aware of what I did
Becoz i never take a risk
I: Any news on Iyer's daughter's marriage
She: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are
looking out for her
I again come out; there is a small noise of the blackcupboard
But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
Quickly enjoy one peg
Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: But still I think Iyer's daughter's age is not that much
She: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged
horse
I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy onepeg
in the sink Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj'sphoto
& keep it in the black cupboard
Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you saythat
again, I will cut your tongue...!
She: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
I take out the bottle from the potatoes
Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
Wife is giving a smile
Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
But still no one is aware of what I did
Becoz I never take a risk
I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
She: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
Stove is also on the rack
There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
But none of the horses are aware of what i did
Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
Iyer is still cooking
And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
Becoz i never take a risk .....hic!
What's Ganguly's favorite bird?
Answer - Duck
Q) What is the Height of Optimism?
A): Ganguly applying sunscreen cream on his face when he goes out to bat.
Railways keen on Ganguly: At least we'll have someone who comes (back) before time. This will help them improve the image with the Indian public.
India Pakistan Match has started. As to be expected, it's a charged up atmosphere and the heat is really on!
India is put in to bat. As to be expected, three wickets down, for a measly score.
There is phone call for Ganguly, at the Dressing Room. The Team Manager picks up the call.
Voice : "Hello ! I am Ganguly's friend speaking . Can I talk to him now ?"
Team Manager : "Sorry ! He has just gone in to bat . "
Voice : "No problem I'll hold"
What is common to a 100 mtrs race and Ganguly's innings?
Ans: They both last for the same time.
How can u say "Get Out" to Ganguly politely?
Ans: Ask him to go to bat.
If Rahul is "The Wall", what is Ganguly?
Ans: The hole in the wall.
How can Ganguly save time everyday?
Ans: By not bothering to pad up.
Who is the only cricketer who does not bat, bowl or field and yet plays international cricket?
Ans: no comments…….
Why has Saurav Ganguly been recommended as the fielding coach for India after retirement?
Ans: No one else can provide catches as easily as Ganguly.
Which are the 5 ways to get the wicket of Ganguly?
Ans:
i) Bowl to rib cage. Ganguly jumps in his place. mistimes pull. Easy catch for short midwicket
ii) bowl good length outswinger. Easy catch to keeper/slip
iii) full length delivery at off stump. Easy catch for gully
iv) bowl short pitch outside offstump. Ganguly drags on to the stumps
v)bowl a flighted delivery. Earlier Ganguly would hit sixes. Now he either gets bowled or stumped or catch to close in fielders.
In short, bowl anyway result will be the same!
Whats Ganguly's fav movie?
"Gone in 60 seconds"
How to Cook Maggie?
4 simple steps to cook Maggi noodles
Step 1: boil one cup of water.
Step 2: as soon as ganguly goes for batting, put the noodles in the boiledwater and put the tastemaker.
Step 3: stir till ganguly is onfield.
Step 4: As soon as ganguly is back in pavilion, your noodles r ready to eat.
Labels:
Clean Humour
Answer - Duck
Q) What is the Height of Optimism?
A): Ganguly applying sunscreen cream on his face when he goes out to bat.
Railways keen on Ganguly: At least we'll have someone who comes (back) before time. This will help them improve the image with the Indian public.
India Pakistan Match has started. As to be expected, it's a charged up atmosphere and the heat is really on!
India is put in to bat. As to be expected, three wickets down, for a measly score.
There is phone call for Ganguly, at the Dressing Room. The Team Manager picks up the call.
Voice : "Hello ! I am Ganguly's friend speaking . Can I talk to him now ?"
Team Manager : "Sorry ! He has just gone in to bat . "
Voice : "No problem I'll hold"
What is common to a 100 mtrs race and Ganguly's innings?
Ans: They both last for the same time.
How can u say "Get Out" to Ganguly politely?
Ans: Ask him to go to bat.
If Rahul is "The Wall", what is Ganguly?
Ans: The hole in the wall.
How can Ganguly save time everyday?
Ans: By not bothering to pad up.
Who is the only cricketer who does not bat, bowl or field and yet plays international cricket?
Ans: no comments…….
Why has Saurav Ganguly been recommended as the fielding coach for India after retirement?
Ans: No one else can provide catches as easily as Ganguly.
Which are the 5 ways to get the wicket of Ganguly?
Ans:
i) Bowl to rib cage. Ganguly jumps in his place. mistimes pull. Easy catch for short midwicket
ii) bowl good length outswinger. Easy catch to keeper/slip
iii) full length delivery at off stump. Easy catch for gully
iv) bowl short pitch outside offstump. Ganguly drags on to the stumps
v)bowl a flighted delivery. Earlier Ganguly would hit sixes. Now he either gets bowled or stumped or catch to close in fielders.
In short, bowl anyway result will be the same!
Whats Ganguly's fav movie?
"Gone in 60 seconds"
How to Cook Maggie?
4 simple steps to cook Maggi noodles
Step 1: boil one cup of water.
Step 2: as soon as ganguly goes for batting, put the noodles in the boiledwater and put the tastemaker.
Step 3: stir till ganguly is onfield.
Step 4: As soon as ganguly is back in pavilion, your noodles r ready to eat.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes
This is the ultimate ...you would almost die laughing!!!! See what happens
due to the way our Hindi was pronounced by the Britishers and the Anglo
Indians . Here it Goes:
due to the way our Hindi was pronounced by the Britishers and the Anglo
Indians . Here it Goes:
GANPAT-RAI (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by
Britisher,Colonel Smith
Col.Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai) (gaand phat raha hai)!!
Bihari: Nahi sir, jyada nahi!!
Col. Smith: Kya 'jyada nahi' bolta hai, tumhara application me likha Hua
hai Gand fat rahai.
Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.
Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)??
Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!
Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo, kya 'kabhi kabhi' bolta hai?Tumhara
application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.
Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marata honga.
The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever
Col.Smith's family asks him to do.
After a few days There is no one except Col.Smith's wife at home.She is
alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable
toTie the knot behind.
So......
Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?
Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the
bra knot).
Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??
Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.
Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko Sarkar kacha
kha jayenge.
Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum
tumko kacha kha jaayengi.
Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum.
Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts
like a bull.
Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts:
Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!!
Ganpatrai :Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega
Labels: Dirty JokesShayari with little headache….
Enjoy……………………………..
1)
Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Tere Pyaar Mein Paagal Ho Gaya Peter ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Ab Hero Honda Splendor, 80 km Prati Litre .. !!
2)
Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii ...
.
Waah! Waah!
Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii .. !!
3)
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
Aatma Chhod Gayii Shareer Puraana ...
.
Waah! Waah!
.
.
.
Didi Tera Devar Deewana .. !!
4)
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
Waah! Waah!
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon ...
Waah! Waah!
.
Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!!
5)
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
.
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala ...
.
"Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala ..!!"
6)
Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...
Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai ...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ...
Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ..."
7)
Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
Aapki Surat Mere Dil Mein Aise Bass Gayii Hai ...
Jaise Chhote Se Darwaaze Mein Bhens Phass Gayii Hai .. !!
One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.
As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and
The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL ........ 0000A3DA
Labels:
Clean Humour
As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on!
There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and
The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL ........ 0000A3DA
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)